Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Motherdough*

Dear Blog Readers,

Today has been a day of ups and downs.

Presently, Devin stands with the doors to our living room wide open, standing on tippy-toes over the railing, with the cool fall air crawling across the floor into our abode.  He balances, taking in the night air.  Earlier, I saw signs of Fall's arrival throughout town.  Tips of trees starting to burn with warm color amongst the green foliage.  Slanted rays of sunlight reaching warmly toward me at high noon, though the sun has started it's winter waltz with the horizon's edge.  The blue skies turned to grey, back to blue, back to rainy grey again.  The afternoon winds howling at our doors, windows and building corners, while the sun set far too early in the evening.

A tearful morning for me.  Sick with the impotence of joblessness, and the lack of "home-ness" in our sunny flat.  Missing dear friends and my loving colleagues who feel more than a lifetime away, nevermind the ocean that divides.  Sad to be missing out on the babies that are soon to arrive of my dear friends Jessie and Sadie.  Sad to not be closer to my dear cousin as she begins her chemotherapy treatment.  Sad to not be near a dear friend and colleague as she goes down the road of chemotherapy for the second time.  Sad not to be with our Berkeley Crew as Zacky turns 2 (Two!) years old.  Missing my dear friend Megan as she celebrates her 4th wedding anniversary with her hubby Adam, even though she is in MN looking for a new home, while he takes care of the girls in Iowa.  Wishing I could sit and visit with my family and friends in NM/FL, CO, MN, IA NY and CA.  Wondering when I'll feel like this is truly where I live.  Where I Live.  Not just where I reside.



Without a corkscrew we desperately try to open a bottle of wine tonight.  Devin trying Ye Ol bang the bottle's base with a shoe (didn't work), and I jabbing the cork with a knife, and then a wooden spoon handle = wine geyser all over me and the white kitchen.  Baptized in our desperation.

Thank goodness for the Great British Bake Off.  For the charm of Cambridge and for the promise of volunteering (perhaps piloting an Art Therapy program?) at a lovely, important facility.

And to you.  For reading my little posts.  For holding the thread of my experience through this strange medium of blogging and interwebs.  Your comments and subscriptions mean more to me than I care to admit.

So to be direct: Please comment.  Please subscribe.  Tell me your thoughts, your reactions, your wonderings.  Ask a question.  Post a quote.  Send pictures of cute baby animals.  Communicate.  Skype.  Send love.

*P.S.  A word mentioned in tonight's Episode 6, Season 3 of The Great British Bake off.  I thought it would make a great band name, but in lieu of a band, I titled a blog post instead.

P.P.S. If you read from the actual blog page and not an RSS feed, is the font too small?  I've always wondered if people had thoughts on that.  Just askin'.



5 comments:

  1. Hayley! I think it takes a while for a place to feel homey. Be gentle on yourself- you've been through so much change in a short amount of time. I'm loving your blog and the photos of your new habitat. Thinking of you!

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  2. Since you are welcoming comments, I would like to comment on an earlier post. Last week I read something you mentioned about an awful semester at AZ. Um really? I think if you will recall that semester accurately, you will remember that it was actually hilarious, and we probably laughed more (at ourselves) than you have at any other point in our lives. Here are some highlights: Dr. Quinn, Anastasia's modern dance, Coconino in general, whatchamacalits in the microwave. This post made me think of that because it takes a while for something to fit. Remember by the time we left we both realized that we could have stayed. Give it a few months and I'm sure it will fit. KJ

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  3. hi Hayley, been reading -- curious about your new life abroad and how you see it and how it feels and what it brings up and in...

    i want to send sweet hugs. i know how this can be... been in the Czech Republic for a few years now - far from home and friends.... if you need anything, like a familiar face and monster hugs, i'm just a short plane-ride away...

    lots and lots of love,
    jessica

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  4. Hang in their kiddo.....we moved 5 times in ten years.... The first year is the hardest.... Next year at this time you will look back and sigh with relief! And get a functional corkscrew!!

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  5. +1 for the functional corkscrew! Devin needs a swiss army knife :-)

    That was a great post... thanks for keeping it real, I was riding the roller-coaster with you. I know I'm terrible at keeping in touch but please know that I (& Katelyn!!) love you guys and that will never change!

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